Tekila Moments

You can never be ready for anything like this....

Wala akong dapat ma-realize.

Mahal kong Sunshine in my cup:

ANG FUTURE na inaabangan ng marami ang isang bagay na ayaw ko muna sanang dumating hangga't hindi pa klaro sa plano kung paano ba ang mabuting gawin sa tambak ng mga natenggang unfinished businesses.

Kagabi, nagkapanahon akong titigan ang ambon habang pauwi kami.  Sa tapat ng lamp post, kitang-kita ko na parang nalalaglag na buhangin ang anggi.  Pakiwal-kiwal ito na parang naliliyo sa hangin.  Pero kahit paano pa siya tangayin ng hangin, walang makapigil sa pagpatak nito.  Makulit.

Ang future, parang ulan.  Makulit din.  Hindi mapigil sa pagdating.  Mentras pinipigil mo, lalong bumibigat.  Kahit anong klaseng distraction o hangin pa ang umihip, bubuhos pa rin.  Parang mga bagay-bagay na dating malaking ulap lang ng what-if thought sa guni-guni na nag-materialize na ngayon para maramdaman.

Sa tingin ko, hindi ko na kayang i-distract ang sarili ko.  Kahit siguro mapuno ako ng intindihin, may mga bagay talaga na nangingibabaw at kailangang asikasuhin.  Andito na ako sa eksena na hindi ko na matakasan ang totoo.  Kailangan ko na talagang aminin sa sarili ko na tulad ng konsepto ng ulan, may damdaming masyado nang mabigat para pigilin ang pagbagsak. 

Pasensya na kung panira ako ng katahimikan ng eksena mo, pero hindi ko na mahintay ang oras dahil kailangan ko nang sabihin ngayon na gusto kita.

 

Padayon. 

 

Ps. hindi ako lasing.

Apa kabar:

I have fallen for its darkness and spaces (between each verses). I hope you get to read this.

Padayon.

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I'M AFRAID I HAVE TO GIVE THIS BACK TO YOU.

Though you gave it to me I know I have to return it to you - because this was not meant for me, but rather, for someone elese who is either currently a part of your life or maybe someone you would meet in the future; someone who may or may not love and treasure you as much as I do; someone whose life will be influenced greatly by you.

When you meet this person you will know this book is indeed worth sharing with him or her, for you know that this person will secure you safely finally - something not even the person you considered as your best friend did not achieve.

Again, I'm sorry I have to return this.  But one day you may be thankful that I did.

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Hello dearest:

I always respected what you think you just have to do.  I wanted to tell you then that I already found the best person to share that book.  And this person doesn't want to keep it.  I didn't mind losing the book but what broke my heart was the reasons why you won't keep it.  It was like watching you slowly walking away from me and I can't do anything to hold you back. 

I was in love with you then, I still love you now.  But my love has transcended, after all... I know I can't keep you. 

Love always, Jin